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tis the new journal [19 Jun 2008|10:32pm]

this is my new LJ
if you wish to add it go ahead :]
this one is no longer the one i shall be using
so if you are still interested in my life add that one :D
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[30 May 2008|07:57pm]
this could very well be my final entry in this livejournal.
i'll make sure to give you all my new livejournal when i create it but we all know that this chapter in my life is coming to a close and... it seems appropriate that i continue on and leave this behind.
i've come to realize over these last few years that... life is so outrageously confusing that... i can't even begin to describe it. right now i am dealing with alot of self loathing and i've done some things i'm not proud of. i've been a terrible friend, a terrible daughter, just... not a great person. and now that i have finally experienced some of the consequences for my actions i... can't say i'm my own favorite person right now...
either way... i'm ready to move on. i can no longer feel guilty for things that have plagued me in the past.
i have made mistakes, i have fucked up, i have lost friends, made friends, created enemies and made those enemies into friends. each and every person that i am now on bad terms with, i still have great and wonderful memories of.
kaitlyn- we share nazi fathers and tasty house asian man and good memories skipping and even though neither one of us cares for the other at all... i still recognize that there were good times.
katie- screaming yahh bitch yahh and panda's open! and getting your eyebrows waxed for the first time and hilarious lunches
jordan- i dont know exactly what terms we are on. but i do know that i have had really fun awesome times with you, like huge flower cupcakes from fred meyer's and fun days at the park
dani- we have band trips and long talks at starbucks and just general nonsense that was just fun!

there are more but... those are the majority in my mind.
i wish everyone the best in their lives... i know i won't see many of you highschoolers again and i just hope... you do something amazing with your life. become the person you never thought you'd be... dream big and... get those dreams. whether we are friends or not, i still want everyone to succeed. i want to come back here and just be so freakin impressed with how far everyone got. so i hope that everyone gets what they want in life and... even though i know i will leave some people here on bad terms... at least i can say i tried.

i'll miss you all when i leave... no matter how much i said i hated it here. these last few months have been some of the best of my life. i have met so many amazing people and i am so sad to be leaving it all...

so i guess i'll end with this: be happy, be free, enjoy life and love it. don't leave behind a single regret and be the absolute best person you can be. if you can do this... you'll know you never wasted a moment of your life and... i would hope that's what every person wants.

im not going to delete this journal but i won't update on it ever again. so if you stumble across this is 5, 10, 20 years and wanna drop me a line my email will probably remain

be well and be happy
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[24 May 2008|11:23pm]
dont ya hate it when you actually get a good look at someone you like's ex and they look terriblee??
youre like "damn they liked THEM i must be terrible"

funniest shit ever.
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open letter to whoever believes it applies to them. [20 Apr 2008|09:34pm]
the biggest lesson i have learned thus far in my life is that there are some people that you will never reason with.
you'll never understand them, nor will they understand you. it's a real shame because a lot of things have been lost for just this reason. i can't wait to move because then i can get away from these toxic people who have nothing but mean things to say to me and about me. i just wish you could mature a bit, and rise above all this. but this is your life lesson, and i am to do nothing to change that. i wish you all the best in life, despite how much you've hurt me, and broken me down. i hope you can do something tremendous with your life and finally be happy with yourself so you don't feel the need to do the things you do. and keep in mind, if you were in trouble or hurt or anything i would still drop everything to be there for you. so yes, you can still be mad at me, but i won't be ever again. i've learned enough in my life to not hold grudges. <3
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for real [19 Apr 2008|04:36pm]
quit trying to steal my friends.


i cant wait to move
fo realz
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[13 Apr 2008|08:53pm]
bitches aint shit bitches aint shit bitches aint shit bitches aint shit bitches aint shit bitches aint shit bitches aint shit bitches aint shit bitches aint shit bitches aint shit bitches aint shit bitches aint shit bitches aint shit bitches aint shit bitches aint shit bitches aint shit bitches aint shit bitches aint shit bitches aint shit bitches aint shit bitches aint shit bitches aint shit bitches aint shit bitches aint shit bitches aint shit bitches aint shit

she tries to start something
i swear to god she's going down.

fuck that skanky ass piggly little bitch.
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please [13 Apr 2008|06:13pm]
please please rub it in my face more
you know how much i love it.

wanting to cry everyday is really getting old.
fuck this.
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[10 Apr 2008|11:15pm]
every skank out there

can die.
for rillz

i hate all this shit.
makes me wanna choke a bitch
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another [08 Apr 2008|04:02pm]
short lived relationship.

c'est la vie.
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[06 Apr 2008|09:53pm]
to all that care!

i am no longer going to san francisco!

have fun without me! haha!
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as of 4.2.08 [05 Apr 2008|02:22pm]
no longer single
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AHHHH [29 Mar 2008|05:19pm]
skeet skeet skeet
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it's cool [22 Mar 2008|07:46pm]
that you can just find another friend and ignore and isolate everyone

its totally BITCHIN.
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[19 Mar 2008|09:58pm]
i'm on the verge of tears but i dont know why. well i do but i dont know whether its because of something positive or negative.
life is so incredibly beautiful. our pasts are such amazing things. our futures, so full of hope. i love [and hate] looking back on the mistakes i've made, the people i've associated with, the people i've loved, the people
i've hated. it's... just so incredible how much one can accomplish or do in their short time here. i'm learning to appreciate life so much more... i dont regret a thing i've ever done because as the cliche goes, don't regret something that once made you smile. so i will never regret anything. i love the mistakes i've made because they have taught me so much. i would be nowhere i am today had i never had to deal with the things i've had to deal with, the people i've dealt with. i am just so in awe of human life right now... it's just kind of hit me.
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im in [16 Mar 2008|08:44pm]
one of those darn thinking moods again.

grr me haha
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you know what? [12 Mar 2008|07:27pm]
im okay with life right now

im starting to sweat the small things and i shouldn't

i love everyone and everything despite who they are and what they've done.
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[11 Mar 2008|07:29pm]
i keep seeing shauna everywhere...

like i'll look into a crowd of people and i think i see her but then it's someone else.

i wish i didnt, because it makes the reality crash into me so much harder.
i miss her so much...
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wow... [10 Mar 2008|09:53pm]
so i have read all 4 years of my livejournal...
so many things have changed...
so many people have influenced me ridiculous amounts.

i mean i could tell exactly what phase of my life i was in just by my posts...
or boys.
i mean...
it was

and jordan/dani/ariel
im surprised we're on speaking terms but... idk.. its good to see we all have grown.

and i found this entry where i was praising kaitlyn and such
and goodness i miss her as my friend
i wish she hadnt lost it...

i always thought i had changed but reading these just showed how i've changed.
i will miss these times... somewhat
but im still excited to leave

i need a new chapter.
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[08 Mar 2008|08:59pm]
i refuse to be a part of this anymore.
don't talk to to me about it.
don't bitch to me about it.
i just want to move on with my life.
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its amazing [01 Mar 2008|10:14pm]
how quickly things can change.

i go from being totally obsessed with you and loving everything about you
to hating everything you do and everything you are.

crazy how that works.
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